Self-Care Mindsets
My work often includes coaching professionals from diverse backgrounds in leadership skills and towards new development opportunities. It is one of the most rewarding elements of my role. Connecting with amazing and accomplished individuals who just need some support and guidance to achieve their next goal.
I am grateful that along the way, I have coached people who have gone on to become lifelong friends. Often, as I discuss topics and challenges of leadership with my coaches, we touch on the same subject – self-care.
Or more accurately, a lack of self-care, which leaders regularly justify by pointing to the high levels of responsibility they hold. But I would argue that the more responsibility you have, the more people are reliant on you, the more care you should take of yourself. Your responsibility to your team, your family, your colleagues, and your business obliges you to maintain your health and well-being. We all know you cannot pour from an empty cup.
This is particularly true for those of us working to drive equitable change, especially those of us from diverse backgrounds or who have lived experience of one or more protected characteristics.
I wrote an article on this topic a while ago and it felt like the right message to share while I am away healing and convalescing. Please feel free to comment and share.
Considering Self-Care Mindsets
Guilt, depression, anxiety, insecurities and being overwhelmed are common emotions for many people. We are each presented with challenges every day. Most days, we can cope. Some days we struggle. Various factors feed into our coping mechanisms and resilience but the most significant factor is how we view and treat ourselves.
I recently saw a post on social media which said, “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly”.
My immediate response was to screw up my face, ‘No, that can’t be right’. I thought.
But I continued reading, with my deeply furrowed eyebrows and cynicism. The post went on to explain that a little is better than none.
Can’t manage your 30-minute workout? Do a 10-minute yoga session from a YouTube video.
Can’t face the overly happy YouTube yoga instructor? Do 5 minutes of stretching.
It seems simple but many of us would not consider the compromises as wins. I definitely didn’t.
It’s easy to collect and collate all the negative comments, thoughts and judgements and reflect on them as though they are real. Corrupting our internal monologues from being our motivational speaker to becoming our most spiteful critic. So now a low day, is just a reflection of what a terrible, useless human being you are. Adding a large amount of guilt to the turmoil just deepens the negativity. This criticism cycle can be self-perpetuating, extremely draining and damaging to all aspects of our health.
Our physical health is closely linked to our emotional and mental health. Balancing all three is an ongoing challenge for most people. Sayings like ‘you are what you eat’ are true, not only for our bodies but also for our minds. The translation of this saying would be ‘you are what you think’. We ‘speak’ to ourselves more than anyone else, the words we think and the private thoughts dramatically outnumber conversations with other people. We have a duty to ensure what we say is uplifting and encouraging, rather than overly critical and self-defeating.
Self-sabotage is a common factor for many people. Our mental landscape, the space where we live in our heads, defines so much of how we live. When that space is full of repetitive negative criticism, we create an unhealthy mental environment for ourselves. Alternatively, making our internal environment a supportive, compassionate space will have huge implications for our daily lives. Training ourselves to recognise, appreciate and be grateful for all our efforts and actions will promote positive thinking. Developing a positive mental attitude is key to building resilience.
Making changes feels like a huge challenge. Our internal monologue can be cruel and very successful at convincing us of our failure before we even try.
Anxiety and depression are liars. Low self-esteem and self-doubt are dishonest bullies. To diminish their hold on our ability to have faith in ourselves and recognise our accomplishments, we must work on our internal affirmations and appreciation for all our hard work and effort.
Cognitive Behavioural approaches focus on adapting our thinking to adjust how we interact, to be more advantageous and mindful. This theory is perfectly evidenced in the implementation of ‘self-care thinking’. Being kinder to ourselves, speaking encouragement, not criticism and finding opportunities to celebrate our accomplishments each day, no matter how small.
As leaders and inclusive practitioners, this is a key principle in equity-based people-centred approaches. Why do we exclude ourselves from those we prioritise when we think of our people-first support?
Remembering to love ourselves, actively appreciating our hard work and commitment to our self-development journey. Small changes to how we think of ourselves, our environment and our expectations can have a significant impact on our wellbeing. How realistic are your expectations? Don’t set yourself up to fail by expecting superhuman performance every day.
Being a good negotiator, enabling compromises and striving for progress over perfection will reduce the negativity and guilt. Include some fun, read, play a game, dance. Do something which will make you smile.
Remember, self-care is essential. Be kind to yourself. Role model this as the basis of good practice.
Connect with values-led communities like the Diverse Business Network or DRose Academy Community, to share your experiences and learning in safe and supported spaces.
You Are Not Alone: The Role of Support, Representation, and Coaching
For many people, particularly those navigating leadership, equity work or environments where they feel underrepresented, the experience of isolation is both common and underestimated. It can feel as though you are expected to carry responsibility, perform at a high level and navigate complexity without a space to pause, reflect or be supported.
This sense of isolation is not always visible. It can sit quietly behind productivity, achievement and professionalism. But over time, without the opportunity to process experiences with someone who understands the context, it can become heavy. The reality is that having access to reflective, values‑aligned support is not a luxury; it is a critical part of sustaining both personal well-being and professional effectiveness.
Coaching provides that space, not as instruction or correction, but as a structured opportunity to think, reflect, and make sense of your experiences with someone who brings both professional insight and lived understanding. Representation within that support matters. When learning and development are informed by lived experience, they are more likely to recognise complexity, avoid minimising challenges and support meaningful, context‑aware progress.
My personal experience of representative mentoring and coaching have been transformational. At different stages of my journey, having people who cared enough to invest in me, from a single conversation to more formal, structured professional coaching or practice supervision sessions, allowed me to reflect and grow. Having someone to help us be more objective, more considerate and to help us apply reflective practice to our personal and professional lives can be vital, especially in times of transition or crisis.
Recognising Overwhelm and Emotional Impact
Many people reach a point in their work or personal lives where they feel overwhelmed, exhausted and mentally depleted, often without recognising it as such. The impact can present in different ways:
difficulty concentrating or persistent brain fog
reduced motivation, even for things that once felt manageable
emotional dysregulation, where responses feel heightened or difficult to manage
increased self‑criticism or doubt
a sense of “pushing through” without clarity or direction
These experiences are not signs of failure or lack of resilience. They are often signals that the demands being placed on you, internally or externally, are unsustainable without support.
Applying self‑care approaches, many professionals justify neglecting their well-being due to high levels of responsibility, despite the reality that greater responsibility requires greater care. Without that care, emotional and mental fatigue can deepen, reinforcing cycles of self‑criticism, withdrawal and reduced capacity to engage effectively.
Moving Forward with Support
Seeking support, whether through coaching, learning communities or structured development, is not about needing “fixing”. It is about recognising that growth, clarity and resilience are strengthened through connection, not isolation.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, uncertain or disconnected from your capacity, it is worth considering what support might look like for you. Sometimes, the most significant shift comes not from doing more, but from having the space to think differently.
You are not alone in navigating these experiences.
And you do not have to navigate them without support.
Explore our mini workshop on emotional regulation, the ‘8Rs of EQ Regulation is a tool to help you understand and apply a practical model for effective emotional management. This content is currently available for free but will soon be moving into one of our development bundles.
Book a call to discuss your support needs and aims - Book time with Sabrina Shadie: 30 mins
Visit DRose Academy to connect with our community and resources.
2026 Update - This article was originally published in 2024 so some of the links and promotional content from that time have been removed. Apologies for any old links or out-of-date content. I felt it was important to keep the articles which track my lived and professional experiences available within the community space. With the high numbers of us working through high-stress situations, particularly in relation to mental and physical health, our own or through care responsibilities, I wanted to keep the space open for discussion and support. I believe we need to prioritise women's health, reproductive health, mental health, family well-being and societal well-being, none of which are discussed enough. We can only change that by talking about it and fighting for better health policies, education and funding.
If you are interested in learning more about my health updates, you can find more articles on DRose Insights.
If you would like to know more about the professional development options available from DRose Academy, please visit DRose Ethics in Action to explore our content and development options.
